Life is a scary Costume Farm. Boo!
The heroine (?@!) of the tale, Gem Irony – a possibly self-negating, anagramatic, and typically foolish moniker with too many descriptive comma-ish annotations (with each annotation requiring its own sub-annotation) – is pondering Halloweens past and present, but never the future. Such self-negations make her wonder if she even exists, and, as such, if things are in fact, negative, or, negated. She rarely ponders the future, finding it to be a seemingly insurmountable and progress-hampering task, preferring a Scarlet O’Hara-ish avoidance approach. She is thinking about poseury, plumery, costumery and the hidden, ideal, and best possible self and wonders if she should quarantine the word “and” for an interlude-like period, for reasons of reason. As an experiment she will grey out all “ands” and see where that goes. Pageantry comes to mind. gem needs to exhibit restraint with commas as well.
Gem read far too many formative books from her parents shelves, long before she perhaps was developmentally ready, such as Animal Farm and God Bless you Mr. Rosewaterand has thus developed an obsession with that unhealthy theme of man’s ability to be cruel to man andsubsequently and psychomicroscopically identifies evidences of such in the smallest of insensitivities in the behaviors of man, wondering why she cannot quarantine them. Gem will wear a metal hat – an insensitivity deflector shield, much like the thought protection devices worn by fellow neurotics who fear aliens. Gem does not yet have that fear aliens but she does fear Scientology and Insensitivity.
She reads about Fashion Week in India and thinks, “I could make that Merry-go-Round dress, only mine will be life size and shall be called the Metaphor-go-Round. Why, I’ll just go to the neighborhood Merry-go-Round and remove that middle part (oblivious to the fact that it motorizes and holds the structure together) and stand in it, <and be it. She wonders if she is intellectually capable of building an Irony-go-Round.
She remembers a Halloween past when a young man at a party was dressed all in black with red high top sneakers and naked Barbies taped all over himself, as a “Chick Magnet”. She thinks he should have worn grey fuzzy slippers.
Gem never went as a sexy cat or a sexy nurse. Gem is delusionally juxtaposed with a smattering (a word she loves) of confident, ideal, and complete people and as such is not ideal. But does love strong coffee.
Gem has decided to not dress up this year and instead to clean her house. Gem will not be competing in any BooOOb Job contests at the Las Vegas Hawaiian Tropic Zone. But that’s HILARIOUS. Gem loves Rob Brezny.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): When the planet Uranus comes into play, as it is now, it’s a good time to initiate experiments that will expedite the arrival of future blessings. Pushing beyond comforting habits, you thrive by going in quest of bracing truths, unfashionable beauty, and wild justice. The symbolic nature of Saturn is different. It invites you to creatively limit and discipline yourself so that fate isn’t forced to limit and discipline you in unpleasant ways. It so happens, Virgo, that Uranus and Saturn are now poised in opposition to each other. Will they work at cross-purposes, spawning a sticky mess? Or is there a way for you to get them to work together? More than you imagine, you have the power to affect how they interact in your personal sphere.