And the dirt goes on

Mr. Clean died recently. His real name was House Peters Jr.

“Peters Jr. was never a leading man, but played many character parts in cowboy movies and won a Golden Boot Award in 2000 for his lifetime contributions to the western genre, his son said.

Peters Jr. was born Jan. 12, 1916, in New Rochelle, N.Y., as Robert House Peters Jr. His son said Peters Jr. studied drama in high school and became inspired to pursue an acting career.”

Gosh. What to say? A very hilarious blogger said it best, “Heaven will be extra clean today”.

Mr. Clean was not always a cartoon. Which came first, I wonder. Did the cartoon inspire the man or vice versa? I think the cartoon came first. I remember Mr. Clean commercials with the man being in color.

Click that ‘hilarious’ link for the youtube video of an old Mr. Clean commercial. Yeah–I know you won’t, so I clicked it and watched it for you and took screenshots. You’re welcome.

Mr Clean TV Commercial, ca prehistoric time

Mr. Clean TV Commercial, ca. prehistoric time. I think the words are written in the dirt on your television screen. Clearly you need Mr. Clean. I can get away with saying prehistoric time because I was there, in the days of Mr. Clean and black and white television. He was on my dirty TV.

Mr Clean wipes the TV screen so he can share his cleaning secrets with you!

Mr Clean wipes that dirty TV screen so he can happily share his cleaning secrets with you! Mr. Clean works for Proctor & Gamble, your friendly manufacturer of cleanliness, which is next to Godliness. A funny juxtaposition, that.Mr. Clean always smiles. But of course, he does Godly work.

Part of being Mr C;ean was always folding his arms.

Part of being Mr Clean was always folding his arms in cheerful satisfaction and confidence in a job well done. Mr. Clean had those Godly powers and was like a Genie perhaps, as might be suggested by that earring he wore, in a time when non-Genie men did not wear earrings. A man wearing an earring in those days might get some flack at the bowling alley.

Mr. Clean saves the innocent housewife, who feels despair.

Mr. Clean saves the despairing innocent housewife, who feels housewifely angst. She has so much dirt that even the outside of her washer is even dirty! No worries, Mr. Clean says, tell the dirt to the hand.

Mrs. Housewife is crushed.

Mrs. Housewife is freaked out though, in a smudgy way with curlicues and deer-in-the headlight eyes. She has a dirty house and she is all out of valium. What will her husband think when he comes home? What if his slippers and pipe are not clean? Why weren't they called househusbands? oh wait--they were married to their jobs and not their houses. Maybe they should have been called jobhusbands. Actually they were called 'Breadwinners'.

mirror!

But now the mirror is clean and the housewife can see herself! This makes her happy. She best look good for when Mr. Breadwinner comes home. Is Mr. Breadwinner ever jealous of Mr. Clean? Does he even know about Mr. Clean? While he is at work writing numbers on pieces of paper and telling his secretary to take dictation, housewife is larking about with a man wearing an earring. Hmm. Best he does not know about this brawny earringed man who helps his wife do her work. I wonder if Mr. Breadwinner is brawny. I think Mr. Breadwinner is suity.

Mr. Clean's now-saved housewife is able to clean her dog and her fishbowl. This makes no sense; wouldn't animals suiffer for the chemicals used to clean them?

oh dear. Mr. Clean, is it really okay to clean the live animals using your product? These were the days of widespread testing of products on animals.

Mr.

Mr.Clean saves the day. Just like he saves every day. He is a magical Genie. When the 'cameras' stop rolling is he a grouch? No. Mr. Clean is clean.And God-like.

One Response to “And the dirt goes on”

  1. FROM THE URBAN WORD OF THE DAY
    MANICORN: a mythical male creature who is successful (read: pursuing his passion and can pay his electric bills/rent), funny, chivalrous, masculine (read: not chauvinistic), adventurous, artistic (read: not suicidal).
    See any John Cusack film (or Chuck Klosterman’s witty commentary on Fake Love in Sex, Drugs and Cocoa Pops), any romantic comedy where the flawed guy comes through in the end…

    “Where is my manicorn? I keep going out with all these losers!”

    “Too bad I settled when I got married, I just met my manicorn.”

    Check out the new Mo’ Urban Dictionary, shipping today from Amazon. The book includes:
    · multislacking: doing multiple slackeresque things concurrently
    · workahol: what workaholics are addicted to
    · foreploy: misrepresenting yourself on a date in hopes of getting lucky

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