Tiny Bleuets in the garden

Sugar-free Gluten-free blueberry muffinettes

It rained today and I had a nail in my tire and was already in my apron so I decided to make muffins.

Cowboy Curtis, vanilla, and blueberry muffinsI can’t really have sugar or flour or yeast and I had these blueberries and I wanted them to be wrapped in something so I went digging and found that I had some brown rice flour so I started experimenting. I don’t measure when I cook because that makes it less fun so I never know if things I make will be edible-much or not but I can’t be bothered, like Big Sue Tilley.

I mixed some brown rice flour (a cup, maybe?) with some coconut oil (probably kinda like 1/4 cup), and borrowed an egg (one) from a neighbor, some stevia powder (palmful). Then I added a little bit of water (somewhere in the tablespoons range, like, under 4 but more than 2) and the blueberries (loads) and gently mixed it all up with some pure vanilla. Then I put bunches of the batter into little teeny muffin tins. Cowboy Curtis bowing to Queen ElizabethThen, I noticed some toasted almonds lying about but they were salted. I put them on top anyway. As it turns out the salt on the almonds mixed with the blueberries is actually really good. I sprinkled some raw sugar on top before baking. I spun the dial and it landed at about 425 and cooked for maybe 10-15 minutes. They were actually good.

Then I wanted to take pictures of them so I took them outside and posed them on my Queen Elizabeth plate which belonged to my Grammie. But they lacked scale so I put Cowboy Curtis and a bottle of pure vanilla in the picture next to them to give you an idea.

Then Cowboy Curtis got all deferential to Queen Elizabeth. I hadn’t figured him for the wannabe Britishy type. So, while my friend Larry watched somewhat incredulously (we need a friend named Curly so that when we hang out people will not have to ask, “Where’s Curly?”), Cowboy Curtis got all knee-ly and praiseworthy and full of homage.
Cowboy Curtis was overcome with emotion and deference. Remember the episode on Pee Wee’s Playhouse where Pee Wee wanted to have a slumber party but Cowboy Curtis didn’t have any pajamas (“I sleep in the [raw] under the stars; I’m a cowboy” so Pee Wee asked Jambi for his wish for that day to be to make Cowboy Curtis some pajamas? And once they were made and Cowboy Curtis thanked Jambi he replied with a lecherous wink and said, “Anytime, Cowboy.” That show was genius.

Cowboy Curtis is not the John Wayne sort of cowboy. Cowboy Curtis is in touch with his feelings, on and off the range, and he’s not afraid to show them. So overcome was he at Grammie’s plate depicting the yound and beautiful Queen Elizabeth that he lost all sight of his native roots and fell on her.

Then, so smitten was he, he began to show off doing his limbo-ish strong man act and balancing a bottle of pure vanilla larger than himself on his 6 pack abs. Cowboy Curtis seemed almost shy on Pee Wee’s Playhouse but as soon as that Queen Elizabeth plate came out he was having at it, mugging for the camera. I think he was angling for a knighting. It seems people in the UK like to be knighted. I have never been. i will go and investigate this claim.

Contented Crackalure Cat (of the Song Dynasty) dropped by (gingerly, given his porcelainic qualities) and Cowboy Curtis tried to push him away and off the table in the garden which he now began to think of as his stage. Funny how people will act when there is a camera around. Cowboy Curtis was so blatant in pushing Contented Crackalure Cat (of the Song Dynasty) off the stage and out of his way. The garden table was apparently not big enough for two egos even though Contented Crackalure Cat (of the Song Dynasty), is really not very egotistical or competitive at all.

But then Cowboy Curtis, being no stranger to revelations and epiphanies, decided he could use Contented Crackalure Cat (of the Song Dynasty) as a supporting actor in this seemingly now-evolving one man circus/reality show and so Cowboy Curtis, having always fantasized about wearing glittery figure-enhancing getups while riding elephants around center stage, began to show off and risk the wrath of gravity.

But Cowboy Curtis and Contented Crackalure Cat (of the Song Dynasty) got tired so they had nap time together. A friendship was beginning to take shape. they look so angelic when they’re sleeping, don’t they? Even with eyes creepily wide open.

After their nap they posed for a few more pics and called it a day. Then we all had tea and Teeny Muffinettes Bleuets as we had no crumpets. but I will find a recipe and get out my kenner easy bake oven and make some.

Every day is like camping in this playhouse.

Big Sue, I know you didn’t have time to come out and stay on this trip across the pond but see what you are missing? We’ve gone faux british enough to make you feel oddly at home.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: