I found this hilarious blog the other day called Stuff White People Like and just had to share it.
I love reading comments on blogs and this one gets some pretty funny comments. Some of the commenters don’t seem to get that it is humor. Some maybe get that but seem defensive anyway. It is pretty funny. Not being a person who gets sports I still enjoyed the section in which they point out that white people like assists. I was proud of me for getting that.
#2 Religions That Their Parents Don’t belong To:
White people will often say they are “spiritual” but not religious. Which usually means that they will believe any religion that doesn’t involve Jesus.
Popular choices include Buddhism, Hinduism, Kabbalah and, to a lesser extent, Scientology. A few even dip into Islam, but it’s much more rare since you have to give stuff up and actually go to Mosque.
Mostly they are into religion that fits really well into their homes or wardrobe and doesn’t require them to do very much.
When you say the word “assist,” first thing you think about is Steve Nash and Wayne Gretzky. White people love to pass, it’s no secret.In basketball, it’s kind of a must so that white guys can carve out a niche and guarantee acceptance on a team. Trying to be a white guy who dunks and stuff is like trying to be a white rapper – yeah, there are a few, but you have to work twice as hard for half the results.One explanation is that white people still feel guilty over slavery, colonialism, and the crusades so passing is a way to make up for it. But more importantly, it makes them feel good to help others.
White people hate a lot of stuff (white people who vote republican, television, Vin Diesel movies, SUVs, fast food) but every once in a while they turn that hate into sweet irony.Often times, white people will make a joke about how hard it is to define irony. It’s not that funny, and back in the 1990s people got all upset at Alanis Morrisette for using the term improperly in her song “Isn’t it Ironic?”But the reason that white people love irony is that it lets them have some fun and feel better about themselves.
The most horrific recent example is Trucker hats, that shockingly went from mainstream in the 80s to Ironic in the early 2000s back to mainstream, at which point they are no longer rare or unique. Once something reaches this stage, irony cannot be restored for 10 years.
Other examples would include white people getting together to have a ‘white trash’ night where they would eat Kentucky Fried Chicken, drink Bud Light and watch Larry the Cable Guy or The Marine. Maybe listen to Kid Rock or P.O.D. These events allow white people to experience things they are supposed to hate, all while feeling better about their own lives, decisions, and cultured tastes.
Occassionally, white people will put an ironic knick knack in their home or apartment such as a “Support our Troops” magnet or a bottle of Mickey’s.
This can be used to your advantage. If you need to appear cool to white people, you just need to pick something that was popular 10+ years ago and put it in a prominent place at your desk or in your home. A C+C Music Factory Cassette, or a “2 Legit 2 Quit” t-shirt would both be acceptable examples.
Also, you might find yourself in conversation where you mention that you like something and there is an awkward silence indicating that it is not cool. In this situation, uou must say “oh yeah, I also like [insert similar things]” and smile, the white people will laugh and all will be well.