Jiggly Jell-Oian Bitch Slappings

jellos.jpgWhen the going gets rough I take stock of my assets, especially my nouns. So I thought I would take pictures of one of my most prized possessions – my Joys of Jell-O cookbook, which belonged to my grandmother and has a faint “Yes” written on the front in pencil in her special handwriting. Somehow, driving to the bank to retrieve this little gem from my safety deposit box for this photo shoot somehow reminded me of my old job in Boston and how we had a T1 line so all things internet were OMG fast. So when we weren’t being beaten, we would play internet hide and seek and then reverse internet hide and seek (next week–how I invented the game, “Elevator DJ“).

The idea was to find a random image online and send it to the other players who would then try to figure out where it came from by guessing at keywords suggested by its very imagery and using them as search strings till the winner found the image in its natural setting online. The winner got to play Elevator DJ. It was actually kinda hard, like chess, but without the strategy. Reverse internet hide and seek was different. But really Elevator DJ was my finest moment. But since I promised that for next week and this post is almost done I have to stick with this post.

It all started (this post) with an avowal of that love of my Jell-O Cookbook. Then a friend clipped an article from Maxim for me about The Jiggly City – a scale replica of San Francisco made of Jell-O. Sooo perfect for building a quaky city. What is that word that means when the material to make the thing mimics the thing that happens when the thing does something it is perhaps known for? Is that irony?

So then I started searching for lofty sentiments about Jell-O and found that the preview blurbs in the list of google results made a beautiful little ode all by themselves so I didn’t click any of the links but rather cut and pasted those results together and pasted the resulting epic poem here. And so it goes. I guess this game is called, “Guess the search pairs”.

I always sprayed my jello mold with a light coating of Pam no stick cooking spray. … Where can i buy Indian Jujube Sydney?? Good Cheese, Bad Cheese? …

I jus kant stand tah call her Jello . Well …. thats nuf said about mah sister. I want to boast bout my gifts but being a lady I reckon I mus just smile! …

I have extensively purchased both Jell-O and Winky sugar-free desserts; … Immanuel Kant’s View of Rational Free Will and Its Implications for Criminal …

Kant did not view things-in-themselves as containing the sum of all possibilities, and phenomena all ….. Jello is not very rigid (to say the least). …

… develops a “bad headache” after listening to a lengthy discussion of Kant and …. sometimes Jell-O helps.” 33. Ruth Rendell has one of her characters …

Amazin Jello “tasty” RSS Feed (Los Angeles, CA USA) ….. Eventually we get to Kant who says that concepts are in our mind and existed there since we were …

inspiration for this framework: Kant’s philosophy of geometry, or more …. I did try to fill the Dean’s oDce with Lime Jello, but that wasn’t the reason. …

… dumpsters was not much fun either, but it was still much better than having to read Kant. … I don’t mean a pool full of chunks of Jell-O, trucked in, …

Immanual Kant. Socrates is offline … I’ve always wondered if Jello would work? Mori. I think Jello might just work, Mori. What a GREAT idea. …

Somehow I just can’t imagine you taking a Jell-O shot.” “Is this an intervention? You’re a little late, since I’m not using drugs anymore. …

Kant’s famous dictum, “Thoughts without concepts are empty: intuitions without … Terence Horgan’s and Matjaz Potrc’s “jello-world” (Horgan and Potrc, …

Het begon allemaal op een zonnige dag ergens in Januari, Jello was lekker aan …. en uit het zijraam kijkend kreeg Jello de auto aan de kant van de weg. …

I was wondering when someone would get around to the issue of jello theft. … I’m avoiding citations to Kant, William James, John Rawls and Ronald Dworkin, …

Hennessy, Jello Shots, Beer, Purple Pain… and of course everyone singing Radiohead! … HAHA KATIE! KANT FORGET OUT INSANE NEW YEARS! HAHA LATER LOVE. …

Green, M.K. (1986), “A Kantian evaluation of Taylorism in the workplace”, … Lewis, P. (1985), “Defining ‘business ethics’: like nailing jell-o to a wall”, …

… intelligence, intersubjectivity, intuition, inuyasha, invader zim, jello biafra, jesus, jews, john stewart, johnen vasquez, kant, kripke, laser eyes, …

Kant needs to be taken out and bi**h slapped a few times for asking such a …. jello fits anywhere) and having a reference from a big name person in the …

No matter how much Jell-O you put in a swimming pool you still can’t walk on water. … Inspirational injection: a Kant conference · Another baby, …

Joolyet gets angree at him and sez that May Bee he does, butt hee kant run fast and hees a scaridy kat. So Anne Jello sez he will byte her leg off and she …

Zizek moves from a Kantian recognition of the gap between the noumenal and the ….. It’s almost a sign of Lutheranism to see green jello on the table. …

… humans—can be changed with Kantian platitudes rather than incentives. …. Hey Jello, I agree with your comments but, I’m confused with the second line. …

2) Kant had only 2 Ears and 1 nose, not the other way around. …. -R) (Vote for Mello Jello! -I) Submit to BEM! Andrea has volunteered to organize every …

That asian jello. In asian jello boobs near asian jello boobs movie by asian jello … The asian kanji theme print shirts to asian kansas city, asian kant. …

All images shot in Dobly sound with the Leica M8 10.3MP Digital Rangefinder Camera with .68x Viewfinder

2 Responses to “Jiggly Jell-Oian Bitch Slappings”

  1. At last, an ode to Jello. I’m an “old school” Jello lover. I don’t want a Jello shot, a Jello bath or “asian jello boobs”, whatever they or that may be. I just want a ruffly clear glass of Jello. Preferably espresso with whipped cream. OK, so espresso Jello is not particularly “old school.” I’ll even take red or green Jello. I’ll take yellow Jello. I’ve been told that drinks that are yellow don’t sell because of the suspect color, but I’ll eat it in yellow. I love your pictures of Jello. You have all the ruffly glasses needed to truly enjoy the delicasy. The only thing I want more than Jello is the M8 Leica that you took the pictures with.

  2. This stuff requires a pee-rousal; been there, done that; going back; back later; later is better than never; never give up; up this; this stuff requires a pee-rousal ……..

    Jax beer commercial rhymed with Jello. “Hello, mellow Jax, little darlin; you’re the beer for me, yessiree.” Both from the same dec-ayed.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: