EXTREME IRONING AND THE BEE GEES

extreme-ironing.jpg Today I was asked to do a lecture at the Museum as part of my upcoming show (Domestic Reflections: The Sculptural Assemblage of Mo Ringey. July 3 – October 15 at the Springfield MFA), but the date is well before the show opens so I emailed them with this tidbit thinking my eagle eye did spy an error. But I got an email back saying this was no error. The lectures are not in the galleries but in the auditorium so it doesn’t matter that my show isn’t up yet. I found this terrifying, like extreme ironing. Like the time I ironed on a ledge of the side of a Mayan Temple. I got all the wrinkles out but at an anxiety level cost I can’t quantify. The quadratic formula fails me in such situations.Anyway-just the word *auditorium* is terrifying to me. Coupled with the word, *lecture* makes me feel that there are not enough meds in the world. Like that feeling when you think there is an intruder in your house and your whole body freezes with fear. That’s how it felt, plus nausea. And because my work is not there and I won’t even be in the gallery with my work anyway, I can’t even dodge and feint and hide behind my pieces (which are large enough to hide behind, being fridges and things). This auditorium seems to have a podium. Well, I could cower behind the podium, I guess, but they’d surely find me.

And then, just as I was planning my avian flu/car accident/national science foundation trip to the south pole, on that day to get out of it, the phone rang and it was Joe from the MFA. I asked Joe just how long this lecture would be and when he said an hour I totally freaked and fell off my ironing board. And so I went for a drive and worked it all out.

My way of dealing with stress is to go driving around, sobbing, on back roads, while listening to disco REALLY LOUD. It totally works. The disco solves everything. It drowns out the sobbing and makes you feel ridiculous for even being alive, let alone sobbing about on country roads, and thus renders pointless the impetus for the sobbing.

Anyway, it hit me. I will bring a slide show of my work AND my double cd set of The Bee Gees Greatest Hits and I will ask the audience to please get out of their seats and join me in an hour of freestyling’ to “Stayin’ Alive” and, “You make me feel like dancin'”. Oh what fun we’ll have!

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