Those Sang-Froid Whites and Big Boned Reds.

In the post below this one, I wrote about my mini break at The Blue Hill Inn, which seems more like a sweet dream I had but which I know to be true since I have pictures. Without the pictures I might not be so sure.
And while at The Blue Hill Inn, Sarah (the sweetest and mostest innkeeper extraordinaire) and I went for a drink at The Wescott Forge across the street and noticed that the wine list was not very descriptive so we set about rewriting all the wine descriptions. After an evening of authoring new red wine descriptions we were invited back the next night to take on the whites. Sarah was working the next night so I had to go it alone which means there might be less grammatical (and other) sense to the whites than the reds but I got the job done.

REDS
Perrin Cote du Rhone Rouge

A serious, well-balanced wine with one leg in the barnyard and the other in The Wescott Forge. Nice to drink alone, or with other people, or even with food. Structured, balanced and easy to palatically comprehend, this baby is pleasant and complicated and needs no introduction.

Hahn Cabernet Sauvignon
Like smoke-filled bars of days gone by and the promise of $10 scratch tickets, this cabernet is bold, confident, oblivious and daring like a well-dressed jaunty gambler breezing through town sporting a rich and fruity delivery.

Dom Ramon Granacha
A mild-mannered, humble, sun-dappled red kind of wine; like a shapely and freckled 17 year old girl wearing a mid-priced sundress bought on sale, this red is self-consciously fruity and seemingly a bit insecure but in the final analysis has more going for it than it knows.

Peralta Syrah
Reminiscent of youthful guilty pleasures and random childish vandalism; like a straight A student secretly yearning for a bumper sticker tattoo, this syrah is a demure daredevil – mannered with a tendency toward mischief of the one night stand or back alley romance variety.

Aresti Merlot
Not a jammy wine, no – this wine is innocent yet insouciant, and reminds me of the time I was wrongfully arrested in Londonderry, NH and sang Swing low Sweet Chariot and How Much is That Doggie in the Window before being threatened by the guards. Breezy and exciting with questionable motives yet innocent in bouquet, this nectar hoarsely whispers promise and breezy summer Gatsbyesque adventures.

Finca La Daniela Malbec
Silly and carnivalesque at first introduction, this red turns wild berry corners, balances on rambling stone walls with arms outstretched, and finishes with the aura of a sunny picnic complete with red-checkered tablecloth on a cloudless day.

WHITES
Jeio Proseco

Like a cheerleader who is actually sincere studious, this white is bubbly and crisp. Matter of fact yet slightly ironic, so as to send adjectives shyly running into hiding, this wine is unobtrusive sufficient to make an excellent beginning, and not to yield. Effervescent and effusive but never the other eff word – effete.

Comanderie be la Bargemone Rose
Dry in the sense of not showing or communicating enthusiasm, this rose has delicacy, grace and a confidence undeterred by the ill-repute of its big-haired rose forebears. Exuding a hue suggesting the color of watermelon reflected off stucco walls at disk, this rose is forthright and elegant with the promise of exoticism, yet possibly naïve in its grasp or right and wrong.

Grillo Parlante
Satirizing the foibles of the overly acidic, this white has one toe over the line yet is clean and free of neuroses. Suave and nearly debonair, this white is marriageable with food yet fiercely independent — never to walk to the altar — with the most fetching of entrees yet perfectly comfortable with cohabitation. This wine can stay the night or leave before dawn.

Morgan Sauvignon Blanc
Fruity (in a Henri Salvador kind of way) and mischievous, yet oddly prepossessing with a certain sang-froid (self-possession or imperturbable ability, especially under strain), this delight is lively with ebbs and tides of sweet and puzzling drys, finally deciding on a mid-dry finish that is never treacly.

Peralta Chardonnay
Free of evasiveness or obscurity, this bold chardonnay is like that big-boned gal from Southern Alberta who could be found every Saturday night at the legion hall (KD Lang [lyrics]) in a sophisticated frock. Buttery, oaky, tall, and prone to perpetual heartbreak, this wine is eager to please and hopeful.

Perrin Cote do Rhone Blanc
Pleasing by delicacy and grace, this clean full, fruitfully perfumy and complicated yet comprehendable white is like the tea cup ride at the carnival; shy and beguiling like a silly chocolate. It reminds me of the old Ogden Nash poem: “If some confectioner were willing, to let the shape announce the filling, we’d encounter fewer assorted chocs, bitten into and returned to the box”. This wine would never be returned to the box.

Shwartzbock Gruner Veltliner
This one wants to do-si-do with fish or wrestle with lobster. Bright, acidically enlightened, and yearning for a summer romp with a freshly snared crustacean, this wine defies creative interpretation and somehow manages to conjure images of Heidi, lederhosen, German Shepherds with flasks affixed to their collars, and yodeling. The bouquet is reminiscent of cat food but don’t hold that against it; it is green, Bavarian and proud.

Alois Lageder Pinot Blanco
Containing unusually multiple conjugated double-bonds, this Alsacian pinot blanc has a bouquet reminiscent of a brisk late-season fall walk in damp leaves at dusk. Oily yet conjuring images of Medusa, this wine finishes clean and proper and does not induce nightmares of showing up in a public place naked, preferring to abet pleasant dreams.

One Response to “Those Sang-Froid Whites and Big Boned Reds.”

  1. Mary Nelen Says:

    mid-priced dress…..

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