I Think I Only Have A Pair

(Ed note, I think I only have run-on sentences).

I have always loved the anonymous painting, Dogs Playing Poker and so I especially love Silas Kopf’s take on  it in the below masterpiece, “I Think I Only Have A Pair”.

After an exhaustive and exclusive interview with Silas – spanning days, weeks, decades perhaps, in which I followed him around everywhere he went (at times with leaves taped to my turtleneck, jeans, and  wooden platform shoes, [in keeping with the elements of his work], in an attempt to get some candid anecdotalities), even going so far as to hire muscle to forcibly hook him up to various thought-stealing apparatus’, lie detectors, intravenous truth-serum drips, and the like – I managed a rare act of brevity, summarizing all of my notes into the following quote  from Silas regarding his work and the insinuations in this article:

“Perhaps Mr. Munger sees more than I do, but that doesn’t mean that it isn’t subliminal perspective.”

It is yet too soon soon to tell if he will succumb to suggestive thought suggestion tactics administered by said muscle and present this piece to Gnome de Pluehm for his birthday bash tomorrow- which I am overseeing in this blog – but we can all only hold our breath and hop (typo, but I’m keeping it).

From the on-line journal Art In Conflict

By Mr. Selwyn Munger

It is a fine line between Pop Art and kitsch. When Pop first made its way into the art world in the late 1950’s many regarded the movement as kitsch, basically mundane without any real artistic content. What are we to think of an artist who reverses the order, taking kitsch and trying to make it Pop? This is the direction of Silas Kopf’s entry, I Think I Only Have A Pair, in the recent Salon de la Marqueterie Biennial in Marseilles.
Kopf played off the famous painting by C. M. Coolidge of Dogs Playing Poker (1904) (sometimes called “The Bold Bluff”) and turned it on its head by using popular figures apparently involved in a game of cards. I say apparently because there is much more behind the imagery than a simple bit of gambling. At the table are the cartoon figures; Betty Boop, Mr. Peanut, and Daffy Duck. Seated between Duck and Peanut is the pop icon Marilyn Monroe. And does that shock of white hair at the bottom of the picture belong to

Chris Blair Saturday evening, October 10, at Gallery Elusie

So if you are out and about on Saturday night, October 10, or can be prompted to get out and about, would it not be so lovely to go see Chris Blair’s new work at Gallery Elusie?

The reception is Saturday night, October 10, from 5-8 and there will be food and wine and art and such, and is part of the Easthampton Arts Walk. Gallery Elusie is located at Old Town Hall at 43 Main St., Easthampton, MA.

The exhibit runs from Oct.10 – Nov. 14, 2009

Chris is a very nice guy and talented artist. His work can also be seen on my walls, at my new apartment.  ;-)

Click here for Obama sushi rolls

Click here

Then you will have the magic permission to click here…

People Got a Lotta Nerve

Ms. Martha

Meet Ms. Martha. She is my new dog. I got her for a holiday gift from my friend Maureen in Salem. We’ve not yet met, but Ms. M and I have bonded psychically. We talk about philosophy and aged gouda, snips and snails and sushi caterpillar rolls, oh!, how we luagh. Ms. Martha does a really adorable trick which I call the Step, kick, twirl, curtsy. Ms. Martha is smart and coordinated.She likes bedtime stories and pedicures, but does not like parades.

Neko Case, with her very cool name and some very cute dogs.

Ms. Martha lives at Best Friends (.org) in Utah and I am going to send her a care package with toys, and treats, and a cat to chase. I am her sponsor, thanks to Maureen.

So this places me on their mailing list and today I got one about how Neko Case will make a donation to BFs for every blog that posts her new song, People Got a Lotta Nerve. So here it is–>people_got_a_lotta_nerve

Of course the last time I offered up songs for free here and here it was a non-rousing success which I don’t get because I am always into free songs to download from safe places but.. whatever.

Some of the dogs up for adoption were rescued from that nasty, nasty man, Michael Vick, who I vaguely recall that I once compared to that irresponsible mining guy and Paris Hilton.  <–Clearly I don’t get a lot of things. It’s a way of life. Or maybe it’s a life choice.

Ms. Martha said the day that Neko came to visit BFs in Utah she was very nice and smelled good.  That could mean she had just rolled in roadkill or had just showered, because with Ms. Martha you just don’t know.

Speaking of animals, the stray cat that lives in the hallway outside my door is no longer an orange blur; now I sometimes get to view her and we talk. She knows there is a male cat across the hall and she sits on the welcome mat (taking it literally I think) and cries for him. His name, according to me, is Poopie Jones. He is flattered. At this rate, in another 6 months I might get to pet her. And I still brave this painful weather to trudge out to the garden every morning to put out food in my makeshift feeding stations for the 5 strays in the garden and the Opossum. but Opossum dude needs to go on a diet because his caboose is about to derail the whole train, hence the capital O. Just an update.

Who do we see about Pink Flamingos and Homelessness?

Everyone is broke. Of course they are, the economy is terrible. I had to sell my imaginary yacht and stop taking imaginary private jet trips to Paris and to the Scientology Center In Florida for higher learning classes. Gone, gone, GONE, I tell you,  is the  imaginary nose job and spa treatment in Switzerland. Even my daily imaginary sushi is a distant imaginary memory. I have tightened my belt. No more imagination; no mo’ Chanel logos painted on every fingernail, no mo’ designer clothes to wear to the studio, no mo’ cleaning person or butler. Who do I see about that?

When John Waters came to Northampton a few years back and did a stand up thing at The Academy of Music, he said that a man had once approached him saying, “My family saw “Hairspray” and we loved it. Then we rented “Pink Flamingos” and were totally disgusted. Who do I see about that?” and JW replied, “Well, I saw “Witness” and was completely offended by the barn-raising scene. Who do I see about that?”

And speaking of things we don’t like to look at, (like what Divine is doing in that still from Pink Flamingos), who do we see about homelessness?

Sadly, social services get cut faster than luxuries and times get tough; tougher for some than most of us will ever know. With this weather the homeless feel those cuts too, as shelters and services run low on funds. This morning at Michaelannland was posted a bit about wanting to collect gloves for the homeless. So I cleaned out my closet, and got my neighbor JR, who(m?) I was about to take to the supermarket, to clean out his as well. I then raided the free pile we had set up in the lobby of our building and filled the car and drove to Arise for Social Justice, which Michaellann Bewsee co-founded, and dropped off a bunch of stuff.

They told us that they go out (in this weather!) and find people to give the clothing to. This is what is known as outreach and in this weather that’s truly above-honorable. They go find families temporarily living in Motels (which reminds me of people who say, “My idea of camping is to go to a motel”) and give them clothing and offer to help them find services.

And check out Michaelann’s hilarious post about the epic poem, “Make the Pie Higher”, underneath the post about gloves for the homeless. It makes the trip all the more worth the clickety-click.

So long, Fred Knittle. Gosh, you rocked.

UPDATE: For my radio show this week, 8-9 AM Wednesday, January 7, at WXOJ-LP FM, streaming at www.valleyfreeradio.org, I will be repeating an interview with Jean Florio, John Larereo, and Diane Porcella from Young at Heart Chorus, which first aired on March 7, 2007. They were hilarious guests and it was a great show. That show can be downloaded here. (scrolling down to almost the bottom is necessary. Look for the giant graphic of the Y@H poster).
Condolences can be emailed to the Knittle Family at knittlesknest[at]gmail.com
______________________________________________

Dear Fred, “Look at the stars, See how they shine for you…”

Fred Knittle made Coldplay look good so I think they should write a song for him.

I just found out that Fred Knittle died on New Years Day.  You know, I still remember the first time I ever saw this video, which went on to become a youtube sensation. I was lucky enough to have met Fred once and he seemed as nice as you’d have expected.

Fred Knittle, "I Will Fix You"

Click the links as tribute to Fred. Maybe in *Heaven” stats come through as love links:
Boston Globe Online
Hampshire Gazette Article
The famous video

Rest in Peace Fred. Gosh, even men admit to crying while watching that video. What a wonderful impact he made with that single song.

More YouTube clips of the Y@H, courtesy of Tony Shannon, who made them:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=dedots&search_type=&aq=-1&oq=

I WILL FIX YOU
When you try your best but you don’t succeed
When you get what you want but not what you need
When you feel so tired but you can’t sleep
Stuck in reverse

And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can’t replace
When you love someone but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

And high up above or down below
When you’re too in love to let it go
But if you never try you’ll never know
Just what you’re worth

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I

Tears stream down your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I

Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you

A Day without Gays

TOGETHER WE CAN

YAY

Yesterday was a Gay Sickout Day – DAY WITHOUT A GAY – as in all gay people were to call in sick to work to protest Proposition H8te. If I were still a manager in a company I’d be proud of any gay employees who called in sick. I am proud of all people who stand up for what they believe in, for doing so requires a level of bravery sufficient to stick your neck out (of the window of a moving vehicle perhaps, as metaphor for danger) and facing the inevitable detractors and ridicule that accompanies such a stand.

I did a search using Gay on a stock photography site and this is what it gave me.

Why is that? Why do some people feel such loathing for those who stand up and say, “This is not ok; this treatment or whatever?” I had the two brave guys who are opposing the proposed mass pike toll hike on my radio show yesterday via call-in. I am proud of them.

But under the story in MassLive there is of course a snide comment or two. One person even wrote, “oh… poor wine seller…” (for one of the men is in sales of wine) and, “they use more so they should pay more…” which makes no sense because everyone pays the same toll when they use that same turnpike.

This almost makes more sense.

Anyway–here’s to brave souls, gay or otherwsie, who want life to be fair. 79% of the pike tolls go to salaries and a lot of them, at the top, are in the six-figure range. The Turnpike Authority is a quasi state agency as Governor Jane Swift was informed by a judge years ago when she tried to fire Christy Mihos for voting against a pike hike, thus not giving her the right to fire him for not following her orders (and since when can you order people to vote a certain way?). Wasn’t it this same SwiftGovernor who got frontpaged in the news for using a helicopter on taxpayer money to get through dense traffic and reach her home way back then?

So while the 21% remaining does go to the state, and an increased toll would add a bit to the state’s budget, how much can you squeeze the common folk who ride the pike and don’t have access to helicopters for riding to work and back home again? 

Squeezing from the bottom only works with toothpaste. Economically squeezing from the bottom might just elicit protests and I kinda wish there’d be more.You can sign their petition here. And the MassLive article is here. The history of the Mass Pike is here, in part.

Anyway, anyway, I thought A Day without Gays was a brilliant tagline and so perfectly reminiscent of Anita Bryant’s orange juice commercials way back then, which caused so much backlash that she lost that paying gig for the Florida Orange Juice group.

And then I made a few of my own:

Take Your Gay to Work Day

Have it Your Gay

Make Gay While the Sun Shines

A Gay a Day Keeps the Inequality Away

Take My Gay, Please

Too Gay to Work Today

THE LINK TO THE RADIO INTERVIEW WITH THE PIKE HIKE GUYS–> http://www.fridgequeen.com/Dec1008_Tony_pikehikeguys.MP3

Paul Miller, Painterly Thriller

Watch the video here–> ()

Paul Miller Self-Portrait, with Paul miller video self

So I am in Salem visiting my friends Maureen and Chaos for the weekend (an old typo for Chas that I decided to keep) and yesterday they brought me to Gloucester to visit their friend Paul Miller, an amazing painter and made-for-video conversationalist/lecturer/host.

Walking down Forgotthename Street in Salem, behind Chaos and Maureen

While perusing his prolific pile of work I noted the prevalence of the color red and that most of his women seemed to have red hair. Thus began a game of blurtings like, “Redhead”, “Yep, ‘nother Redhead”,

Fun With The English Manglage

DISCLAIMER: I am a total mangler.

Words are funny things. I think about words a lot, and often mangle them for my own amusement. I think about how they could be better chosen and arranged with respect for the person you are tossing them to, like if you choose to end a phone call with, “Let me go”, which might make the person think they are holding you against your will to the extent that you must order your own release, rather than dragging out more syllables as in, “Gosh, it’s been nice speaking to you. Let’s chat again soon”, which would just as easily signal the end of the conversation.  “Just a spoonful of syllables makes the sentiment go down…” <–Ok! Zzzzzzzzzzip! Enough from The Miss Manners Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior. Quoting from that is something I did in the 90s (makes washing of hands gesture).

Then there’s all the everyday mismanglings, as opposed to purposeful manglings, like saying eXpresso rather than eSpresso and my fave – escapegoat. And of course misused phrases like, “for all intensive purposes” rather than the original “for all intents and purposes” (makes throwing up of hands gesture).

Just yesterday driving in my car I heard on the radio a public service message from the National Association of Real-it-TORS. Odd that, I had always thought that was a two syllable word. I once worked with a woman who, in describing an admonishment to her boyfriend, said, “You’re walking on thin water, buddy.” I think that’s my fave (bemused reminiscent gestures).

This manglage/origin/word inexplicability thing came up last night at dinner when we were discussing that Wizardess of Ensocellement“, Anaïs Nin, who used the word ‘ensorcelled’ in every writing because she saw herself as a bewitching seductress, which is relevant to this post, but not much really (irrelevant hand gestures).

Anyway, this came up because I had heard on NPR or some such station a story of the origin of “eavesdropping” and how…, “In the old days, most roofs were slanted. The “eaves” are the lower edges of the roof that project beyond the walls of the house; their purpose is to throw off the rainwater that falls on the roof. The “eavesdrop” was the word used to refer to the place around the house where the water from the eaves dripped.

An “eavesdropper” was therefore someone who stood in the eavesdrop area outside the house and listened to the conversations taking place inside” [SOURCE] Actually I think that makes the person the “Eavesdropee” but whatever, (confusion hand gestures?).

Anyanyway, I thought of all of this and even more today because I found this post —>

Oxford Researchers List Top 10 Most Annoying Phrases
By John Scott Lewinski

Not all University of Oxford researchers are uptight and humorless, “irregardless” of what you might think. In fact, a bunch of them compiled a list of the Top 10 Most Irritating Expressions in the English language — just because we needed one.

Though maybe “you could care less,” the scholars in question keep track of linguistic mangling and overused buzzwords in a database called the Oxford University Corpus. The voluminous record keeps track of books, magazines, broadcast, online media and other sources, watching for new overused, tiresome phrases and retiring those that fade from use (or misuse).

The great hierarchy of verbal fatigue includes:

1 – At the end of the day
2 – Fairly unique
3 – I personally
4 – At this moment in time
5 – With all due respect
6 – Absolutely
7 – It’s a nightmare
8 – Shouldn’t of
9 – 24/7
10 – It’s not rocket science
[SOURCE]
In the comments section people suggest adding, “literally” which is quite often misused, or, “ironic”, when the incident described is really just coincidental, and so on.

One commenter dragged out that old, “think outside the box” bit of juicy wisdom which of course got me thinking about an old job back in the “real world” and a funny incident involving a gold chain-wearing, hairy chested (how can you not notice when the shirt is unbuttoned to the 5th button?) former travel agent,

“What recession? We’re gay!”

A hilarious message from Melissa Etheridge as posted in The Daily Beast:

Image lifted from Queerstock.com. Love the frightened man coming out of the closet. He probably lives in California and is actually tiptoeing backwards into the closet. He is bejesusly scared.

So California voters got out in droves to elect Obama. Nice! But at the same time they voted against same sex marriage. Not so nice, really but totally unexpected from Obama supporters? Well, not really, Black Jesus is not entirely supportive…

“Barack Obama and Gay Marriage/ Civil Unions:

Although Barack Obama has said that he supports civil unions, he is against gay marriage. In an interview with the Chicago Daily Tribune, Obama said, “I’m a Christian. And so, although I try not to have my religious beliefs dominate or determine my political views on this issue, I do believe that tradition, and my religious beliefs say that marriage is something sanctified between a man and a woman.” [<-SOURCE, (there's more and it is not all entirely against..]

So Melissa Etheridge hilariously posted the following on The Daily Beast which makes a great point (by the way, Otto the frustrated interior decorator is gay so this is now delving into animal rights);

“Okay. So Prop 8 passed. Alright, I get it. 51% of you think that I am a second class citizen. Alright then. So my wife, uh I mean, roommate? Girlfriend? Special lady friend? You are gonna have to help me here because I am not sure what to call her now. Anyways, she and I are not allowed the same right under the state constitution as any other citizen. Okay, so I am taking that to mean I do not have to pay my state taxes because I am not a full citizen. I mean that would just be wrong, to make someone pay taxes and not give them the same rights, sounds sort of like that taxation without representation thing from the history books.

Okay, cool I don’t mean to get too personal here but there is a lot I can do with the extra half a million dollars that I will be keeping instead of handing it over to the state of California. Oh, and I am sure Ellen will be a little excited to keep her bazillion bucks that she pays in taxes too. Wow, come to think of it, there are quite a few of us fortunate gay folks that will be having some extra cash this year. What recession? We’re gay! I am sure there will be a little box on the tax forms now…